Celebrity News and Paparazzi Photos

Tony Romo apparently believes the rumors that Jessica Simpson distracted him and decided the two should “just be friends,” according to NY Daily News:

A few days after the Giants bounced the Cowboys from the playoffs, Romo called the “Dukes of Hazzard” star to tell her their romance was over.
“He said he thought it was better if they went back to being friends,” a pal of hers said.

Poor Jessica Simpson. I guess she’s on the rebound and is probably through with professional athletes. Well, she’s in luck. I’m also single and don’t professionally play any sports. Though I am a champion at Nude Photo Hunt at the bar. And by champion I mean I drunkenly make out with the machine until the bouncer hits me with a cue stick. It’s sort of my calling in life and, as long as Jessica respects that, I can see a future for us.

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Ben Stiller and other celebrities are defending Tom Cruise after several Scientology videos were leaked last week and an unauthorized autobiography about Tom was released. People reports:

“Imagine having a baby and people talking about it the way they did,” says Stiller. “People lose sight of the fact that Tom Cruise is actually a person. I feel for him.”

Ben Stiller has a point. I mean, Tom Cruise is a person. Who’s really an alien - trapped inside a person. That can talk to other aliens inside other persons. It all makes sense when you think about it and are really, really high.

NOTE: I reposted the FunnyOrDie spoof because, well, it’s freaking hilarious. I still can’t get over it’s Jerry O’Connell. I thought he was just a myth.

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Here’s the latest update on the Heath Ledger situation. The $20 bill was clean and now it’s being reported that any drugs found at the scene were prescription drugs specifically for Heath, according to the AP:

There were six different types of prescription drugs in the room, including pills to treat insomnia and anxiety, and an antihistamine, according to two law enforcement officials who spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation is ongoing.

All respect to Heath, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it probably wasn’t a good idea to mix all those. Then again, what do I know? I still take Flintstones Vitamins. Time to get my Dino on…

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Demi Moore posed for the cover of V Magazine’s Spring Preview 2008. I’m confused by these covers. And not just by the photoshopping. I thought this magazine was about people with vaginas. Maybe the editors confused Demi with Ashton Kutcher. It happens. He definitely has a V. In fact, I hear it’s a W. I don’t really know what that means, but I bet it explains why Bruce Willis stops over a lot.

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The video of Amy Winehouse smoking crack that The Sun released on Monday may lead to legal troubles for the singer. Apparently the video was filmed right before Amy attended the hearing for her husband Blake on Friday. The AP reports:

Police will look at the video before deciding whether any charges should be brought against Winehouse, a Metropolitan Police spokesman said while speaking on condition of anonymity in line with force policy.

I wonder if they’ll find anything illegal on the tape like, oh, I dunno, Amy Winehouse smoking crack! Then she suggests her cat should pack up and leave. I mean, that has to be illegal. Cats can’t drive. Except for mine. He’s pretty good at it. I leave him in the car while I get hammered at the local tavern because I’m a hero. Then Fluffy drives me home or at least attempts to. He mostly just meows at the steering wheel while I lie on the floor and work the gas with my face. But it’s cool; I make him wear a seatbelt.

NOTE: For those of you curious about Amy’s appearance, these photos were taken last night. She changed her hair color over the weekend. Apparently blonde hair is too crazy for Amy Winehouse.

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Britney Spears’ lawyers scheduled an emergency hearing today to allow Britney to have therapeutic visitation with her children. Britney initially showed up at the courthouse then bolted before the hearing began. This probably didn’t help her case because, in a quick decision, her request was denied. TMZ reports:

Sources told TMZ Brit wanted visitation restored in a “therapeutic setting” — meaning under the treatment of medical professionals — but that wasn’t gonna happen, especially since she never showed to make a plea. The Court noted Brit’s absence.

On a related note Mark Vincent Kaplan made the following remarks to People about Britney’s deposition:

We are going over things that are very, very gut-wrenching. Just to revisit them even in your own mind would not be pleasurable. It’s not something anyone would enjoy,” he says.”

I’ll assume, no doubt accurately, that Britney’s deposition consisted of her repeating over and over again the catchphrase for Fig Newtons in her new English accent: “It’s not a cookie, mother. It’s fruit and cake.” I actually can’t stop saying it right now. It’s not a cookie, mother. Sweet Moses! Excuse me while I pay a homeless man to kick me in the eye with his hobo boot. If my next post seems to heavily involve tin cans, the bastard stole my keys and left me for dead. Call the police. I don’t want him eating the last Toaster Strudel. I’ve got ten icing packets stored in my pillowcase; I cannot stress how important that is.*

*Very.

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Police found a rolled up $20 bill with “narcotic residue” on it in the apartment where Heath Ledger was found dead yesterday, according to CBS News:

Sources add they also found several drug packets containing an unknown substance. CBS 2 has learned these items were all listed on the official police report from the scene.
To be clear, it’s still unknown whether these items belonged to Ledger or whether he even actually ingested them.

The drugs could turn out not to be Heath Ledger’s. From what I hear they’re probably his. No one will know for 10 days until a more thorough autopsy is complete. But it gives eerie resonance to Jack Nicholson’s cryptic remark last night of “I warned him.”

UPDATE: The NYPD is saying there was no visible residue on the rolled-up $20 bill, according to the AP.

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Jack Nicholson walked out of the Wolseley Restaurant in London last night when paparazzi informed him of the death of Heath Ledger. They told him it was a drug overdose which prompted Jack to say “That’s awful. I warned him.” Then somebody shoved a Joker photo in his face for him to sign. Who could pull off such incredible levels of douche-ness? I mean besides Ashton Kutcher, Criss Angel (Were necklaces found at the scene?), Carson Daly, Adnan Ghalib, Andy Dick, my ex-girlfriend (She thought Clooney was a good Batman. How could we stay together after that?), Sam Lufti, Dick Cheney, Ryan Seacrest, the real Joker (I know you’re out there!), Billy Bush from Access Hollywood, Jimmy Fallon…. Anyone I’m leaving out?

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Actress Kathleen Turner’s upcoming autobiography “Send Yourself Roses” includes dirt on her Peggy Sue Got Married co-star Nicolas Cage. The movie was directed by Nic’s uncle Francis Ford Coppola and apparently the future Ghost Rider was a pain in the ass on set, according to Page Six:

“Everything Francis wanted him to do, he went against to show that he wasn’t under his uncle’s wing. Which was ridiculous. Oh, that stupid voice of his and the fake teeth! Honestly, I cringe to think about it. He caused so many problems,” Turner writes. “He was arrested twice for drunk driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog. He’d come across a Chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket.”

A Chihuahua in the jacket, huh? That’s bush league. One time I smuggled a Great Dane and two Pomeranians in my pants. I’ll let you read between the lines on that one… ladies. (Hint: I love puppies!)

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While his wife filed for legal separation, Adnan Ghalib made appearances last night on Entertainment Tonight and The Insider where he said not only his he still with Britney, but she wants to have his baby. He claims Britney bought the rumored pregnancy test because she was “hoping” to be pregnant because of her “natural maternal instincts.” NY Daily News reports:

Ghalib conceded that Spears, 26, was not aware he was going public about their relationship and insisted they are still together despite reports she kicked him to the curb.
“It’s far from over, but then I don’t have the ultimate say in this relationship,” Ghalib said.

Britney and Adnan were then spotted together last night in Malibu as evidenced by the attached pics. Adnan is looking a little out of it though. Could be from all the vodka he’s downing to score those “exclusive photos” later. Of course, if I knew I had to have sex with Britney Spears, my face would look like the Nazi’s at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. But probably more melted.

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